3 Major Scenes In ‘This Is Us’ That Capture A Mother/Daughter Relationship Quite Well

Jigyasa Dua
3 min readApr 27, 2022

There are so many “ This Is Us “ fans out there. I’m one of them myself (I almost never miss an episode). And others, just like myself, love to try and figure out the hidden meaning behind each episode. For those of you who are not familiar with the show — it revolves around the Pearson family, Jack, Rebecca, and their children Randal Kate and Kevin flashing back and forth between their past and present.

Although the show is fictional, it tells its viewers about real-life struggles and hardships. This Is Us teaches us that the relationship between a mother and daughter plays an important role in the identity of a girl. The relationship between Rebecca and her daughter Kate is one of the most complicated and well-developed storylines. It’s heartbreaking to watch as a viewer because we can see so much love there, but also a lot of pain.

Here are some incidents from the show that give us an insight into this complicated and delicate relationship.

  • A mother’s way of communicating with her daughter has a significant effect on the girl’s self-image.

The tension between Kate and Rebecca is rooted in their own pasts. Kate has been overweight for most of her life, but from early on we learn that there was a time when she wasn’t — specifically during her childhood years. We see flashes back to when she was about 8 years old, sitting at the breakfast table with her brothers pouring endless amounts of sugar into their cereal bowls while Rebecca places just half a cantaloupe in front of Kate filled with cottage cheese instead.

In the present timeline on This Is Us, we see Kate struggling with her weight as she tries to get healthy by getting gastric bypass surgery.

This is a testament to how important it is to tackle these issues with utmost care.

  • It’s easy for us to idealize our mothers and hold them up to impossible standards.

We remember being young, looking up to our moms with such admiration, feeling like they were the most beautiful, intelligent, kind and capable people in the world. But when we grow up, it becomes easier to pick out their shortcomings — and sometimes we judge them based on those flaws rather than all of the wonderful things they did for us. Realizing that our mothers are people who make mistakes and have their own lives is a hard pill to swallow, but we need to stop idealizing them so much if we want to have healthy relationships with them.

After Rebecca surprised Kate at her first singing gig, Kate reacted angrily, recalling years of anger rather than taking her mother’s support in stride. “You still make me feel like a stupid, fat little kid,” Kate admitted after Rebecca said she sang “incredibly beautifully” — a word choice that set off Kate. Dumbfounded by her daughter’s accusation, Rebecca asked what she had ever done to make her feel that way, and all Kate could could say was, “You existed.” Ouch.

This scene showed how much love is there, but how much pain these two women have caused each other over the years.

  • Communicating with each other is the best way to get through rough patches.

One of the biggest issues many mothers and daughters face is being able to openly communicate with one another, which makes it harder for them to get through rough patches. Not being able to talk about what’s going on in your life can lead you to feel isolated at a time when you need support the most.

But Rebecca and Kate experience a breakthrough in their relationship when Kate went through a miscarriage and her mother showed up toh share her daughters grief.

Rebecca spoke about losing one of the triplets during her delivery (Kyle).

The shared grief made them open up to each other and communicate.

A mother/daughter relationship is truly one of the more beautiful relationships. Although it has its ups and downs, just like every other relationship, there’s always a loving warm bond that they will share.